Home Entertainment DIARY OF A UNN FUCK BOY


by Happynaija

    “Chukwuma won’t you go and check your post utme score I heard it has been out for two days now?” asked Mrs Ugwu, “I would check it later mom, after all I have a very high JAMB score and am very sure I would make the cutoff for pharmacy in UNN” replied Chukwuma
. Chukwuma Kelvin Ugwu is the only son of Mr and Mrs Ugwu, after successfully completing his secondary school education at Kings College in Lagos state he decided to further his education in the University of Nigeria Nsukka most commonly called UNN. Chukwuma decided to leave the house after his mom continuously pestered him to check his result online and decided to visit his friend Christian. ”Hey school boy, how far na, you manage escape your cage today?” said Christian jokingly when he saw Chukwuma, “Guy I’ve told you it’s not a cage I just choose to stay at home” replied Chukwuma, “E be like say I go change your name from school boy to house boy, so what drove the willing prisoner out of his cage”. “Well momsi was disturbing me to check my result but I don’t want to admit that am a bit scared, you know UNN is a hard school to enter and its pharmacy or nothing for me oh” said Chukwuma, “All you smart kids, as for me course na course I applied for CBS because the cut off mark is small and there are lots of girls in the department, well let’s just check it, I bought scratch card for the both of us and my laptop is here”. Unlike Chukwuma, his friend Christian Jones was from a family of three, two elder brothers and him being the youngest son. His from a wealthy family, was what we would call a ladies man with his athletic built body, good looks and also expensive clothing. Chukwuma on the other hand is more reserved, his family is not all that rich but they are comfortable although he wasn’t all that into expensive wears he was also handsome but not as built as his friend Christian. “Shit, school boy this your brain bad oh, 297, guy did you even remain small mark for us, come why didn’t you put medicine, you would have gotten it.”
“Well guy I was expecting more than this, and I have no interest in medicine it’s not my thing.” Said Chukwuma, “See this boy oh, you should have carried the whole school, your JAMB score was 287 plus your post UTME score,297, so your aggregate is 292 you even handicapped your cutoff oh; see first list student oh” replied Christian. “You also made your cutoff too, your aggregate is 220 at least we both made it”
“Guy it was a narrow escape oh, CBS girls here I come, I even met a girl online recently the girl was already falling for me and she is coming to UNN, bro the body count is going all the way up.”
“Well guy hope you know what we are going to school to do, you know UNN don’t play with their GP and 1st year is the best time to build it oh”
“Who GP epp?, school boy see even those that finish with 1st class still find it difficult to find work and after all, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy, come this boy hope say you won’t die a virgin oh or did your people tell you that your joining seminarians?”
“Am just saying oh, well guess its till the list comes out then although I think I would start packing just don’t overdo it when we get to school, am off home thanks for the company and also helping check the result”
“Well school boy you better change before we enter school oh, well till list comes out then, oya go and suck moms breast milk make men go suck standard breast, later boy” Chukwuma then left Christians place while laughing at his joke or so he thought.
     After a week had passed Chukwuma received a call in the evening from Christian; “School boy, the list is come out oh”, “seriously Chris, did my name come out?” asked Chukwuma
“No oh it didn’t come out, I heard it’s on its way Arik airline is bringing it” replied Christian. “Guy please be serious, am on tensed now”
”Am not trying to whine you but if my name can find its way to that list, why would your own not come out?, boy there are some questions your not supposed to be asking; you better start packing up UNN girls awaits us”
“Maybe they await you but not me, my dream, ambition and GPA awaits me” replied Chukwuma. “Well school boy under me even a breastfeeding baby, we both know who, would become a man, later boy we would talk later goodnight” Christian then hanged up leaving Chukwuma in his room smiling. “So you made it my dear” said Mrs Ugwu startling Chukwuma who was totally unaware his mom was in the room all the whole time, “Well mom were you expecting less?, your son is officially an undergraduate” replied Chukwuma who was still recovering from the shock of his mom in his room and was hoping she didn’t over hear the whole discussion between him and his friend since his mom still believed Christian was a bad company and was told to reduce his association with him.
“Well I know my boy genius would surely make it” said Mrs Ugwu smiling “This calls for a celebration once your father comes back we are all going out to celebrate” said Mrs Ugwu as she finally left the room singing happily.
      After two days, Chukwuma was dragging two heavy briefcases down the stairs, after dropping it downstairs he turned to his parents; “Mom, Dad do you really have to travel, I would be leaving for school by next week, can’t you just postpone till after I travel?” asked Chukwuma who was expected to be in school in a week time so as to complete his registrations and resume school fully as a fresher. “My son it’s just for a 5 days at most, your father and I would have to attend your aunts wedding, you could have come along but you have to prepare for school”. “Don’t worry he’s a big boy he can handle himself, so my son I believe you would behave yourself and take care of the house, am sure the pocket money we left you should be more than enough and take good care of the house” said Mr Ugwu as both he and his wife left for their trip.
    The next day Christian came over to visit; “School boy you’re finally home alone, were did your wardens go?” joked Christian,” or were you finally released on parole?”
“My parents travelled for my aunt’s wedding ceremony Chris, I just stayed at home to prepare things I need to travel to school with” replied Chukwuma.
“Wow so they can leave only you in the house? Finally the baby has grown teeth sha, hope your mom packed some extra breast milk for her TaTa” joked Christian some more, he did seem to enjoy making fun of Chukwuma who on the other hand didn’t seem to care. “But schoolboy on a serious note this is a blessing in disguise oh” said Christian more seriously, “I don’t get you” replied Chukwuma
“I have been planning a little going away party for us, nothing special just an indoor bash with few friends, mostly girls by the way and I already have everything set except a venue so since your wardens sorry I mean parents are not around, that makes your place the perfect spot”.
“Chris I don’t think that’s right, I promised my parents that I would be of good behavior” said Chukwuma “Moreover I don’t think they would be happy knowing I threw a party while they were away”
“Have you seen why i call you TaTa, Chukwuma nothing will happen, loosen up boy you’re in school now oh if you don’t start learning how
to be fun now when would you learn”
“And also that your bae Presh would be coming over too, at least you can try and see if you would get lucky”
“She is not my bae Chris, she is just a friend” said Chukwuma almost blushing.  “See lover boy, they are all our friends till otherwise proven wrong” replied Christian laughing hysterically
“Well I guess noting worse could happen just make sure there are not many people, no alcohol, and people get to leave early” said Chukwuma still a bit unsure. “Don’t worry we would bring bibles and our prayer points too; see schoolboy leave preparations to me just concentrate on having a nice time”
“Alright just please let’s don’t overdo it, so I guess it’s till tomorrow then, goodbye” said Chukwuma as he escorted Christian to the door. “Have fun schoolboy, go watch your PG rated movies I go come set up things in the morning, later boy”. Christian said as he finally left the house.

      “Christian is this your definition of low key party?” shouted Chukwuma over the loud noise coming from the stereos with the large number of people whom he could not even identify. “Chillax school boy and drink your punch” replied Christian as he poured some drink into a disposable cup for Chukwuma, “now go talk to your girl I just gave you a shot of testosterone, so go get yourself laid.”  Christian then gave Chukwuma the drink which he gulped down immediately, suddenly he started feeling tipsy, over whelmed by a sudden surge of morale and everything seemed to be spinning 360 round him, he then realized the drinks might have been spiked and took a sit to pull himself together when suddenly his crush Precious came over.
“Hey nice party, would you like to dance with me?” asked presh as she dragged Chukwuma up without waiting for an answer; “I guess you won’t take no for an answer” said Chukwuma as he staggered to the dance floor.
“You know you do look good this night?” said Chukwuma who was still tipsy but was still holding an extra cup of punch hoping to impress Presh and seem tough. “That’s so sweet, congrats on your admission by the way heard UNN is a hard school to get into” Presh replied also blushing and tipsy which was also caused by the punch she was drinking.
“Heard you also made it to UNIZIK to study mass communication, so congrats too and I do hope we still get to see each other when we come back for the holidays”
“Well we would see chuks, also I didn’t get you a parting gift so what about a goodbye kiss?” suggested Presh.
“Well this might be the alcohol talking but I having been waiting to do that ever since I met you”. Chukwuma didn’t need the gods to tell him that he needed not to blow this up so he leaned forward and started kissing Presh, at first it felt normal, then it started feeling really good then it felt as if the music stopped and everywhere was silent except for the fact that the last part was no longer a feeling and the music had really stopped and then he felt a hand touch him at the back; he turned back angrily wondering who could have decided to disturb him at that very time, only for him to turn back and meet face to face with his equally angry looking parents face…………………………

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Donald Oguguah July 20, 2018 - 7:35 am


Anonymous July 20, 2018 - 7:36 am


Unknown July 20, 2018 - 7:36 am

its rili nice

Ngozi Oguguah July 28, 2018 - 8:46 am

Interesting. Please take time to edit the story before posting. Looking forward to more. Great job! keep it up.

Toria onyekwelu July 28, 2018 - 5:03 pm

Nice one

Adaeze ivy October 8, 2018 - 11:17 am

I need more


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